Ive been asked "what did you do when you found out?" Well, I did the only thing any reasonable girl would do. I went shopping! Retail therapy! Oh just kidding, I'm not THAT positive! I did have a bad moment or two!
When I left the dr office I hardly knew what to do. I had gone by myself thinking I was just gathering information for getting a silly ole cyst removed. Scott was two hours away, so I didnt want to go home. Besides, I didnt want to tell my mom until Scott was with me, and mom, being mom, would have been calling me wanting to find out what I had found out. In fact, I had already ignored one phone call from her! Sorry mom!!
I called Scott and asked him to meet me at home. I still wasnt sure what to do, but felt the need to go back to work and be with my co-workers. They are awesome and I knew thats where I needed to be right then. I called Maggie and she met me in the parking lot. Hugs and tears, and lots of encouragement. Maggie ended up being a HUGE help and support throughout all this. She made phone calls, took notes, set up an organizer for me. Not to mention all the phone calls of support to my mom! She went to every dr visit, asked questions that we weren't in the frame of mind to even think about. Then patiently answered all our questions later when we tried to remember what all the dr said! It is my hope that anyone going through a major medical problem has a Maggie!!
Ok, back to my story. I get a little off track when I talk about Maggie, and I just have to tell everybody what a great friend and support she is!
So I went in to work. Its amazing how hard it is to say those words, "its cancer". It was awful. But my work family was so incredible, I will NEVER forget how they all surrounded me, Jim hugging me on one side, Mary on the other side, and the other girls surrounding us, all a tight little huddle of tears. After the initial shock, they got to working on setting me up with a doctor. Jim went and called some of his "connections" and by the time I got home he had an appt with me for two days later! At this time I didnt know about the liver yet. That appt was the next day. The oncologist even stayed after hours so she could see me. That was so wonderful.
I made it home and Scott was waiting for me outside. He was a little pale, and I could see the worry on his face. It broke my heart. I couldn't believe I was doing this to him. He knew it was bad. Once again I had to say those horrible words. We hugged. We cried. I kept telling him it was going to be ok. I just knew it would be. And then we had to go tell mom. To this day I don't know why I didnt wait for dad to get home. But I just needed to tell my mom. Moms always make things better, no matter how old you are! Besides, I figured if I didn't get over there and talk to her she was going to just keep harrassing my phone!! We drove up and mom was outside doing something with her flowers. She looked up and smiled at me, and I remember thinking, "I cant tell her this. This is going to tear her up."
You know how you look back and wish you would do things differently? Well, this is one of those times. Mom has always been strong. She is the one who taught me my positiveness. She never gets worked up, never blows thing out of proportion, always steady. So I knew she would be my rock. But it must be a little different to be a parent and hear this news. I hope to forget someday how the next few minutes went. But the whole time I was telling her and Scott it was going to be ok. At that time I became determined that it would be ok. I was NOT going to put my mom and Scott through anymore than I had too. I was determined that this would have a good outcome. And I really believed it would!
And it did! And thats enough for now. :)