Tuesday, June 7, 2011

So, now what?

Wow, its been too long since I've posted on here! Since we got back from Jamaica life has been crazy busy! Which is a good thing! We have done a little more traveling, which I love to do. We went to see Scotts sister in WI (ALWAYS a wonderful time) in May. Last week we went to Phoenix, AZ for four days. My first time there and it was beautiful! Well, not so much the brown, desert looking yards and adobe buildings, but the weather!!! The sky was so incredibly beautiful! We didn't see one single cloud while we were there! We stayed at the wonderful Fairmont Princess resort. One reason this was such a special trip is because my mom went with us. Our first real vacation together! Someday, we will get my dad to go with us! We also got to see some cousins, one that I hadn't seen in at least 20 years! Another thing we did was visit my naturalpathic doctor. I had not yet met him in person and its great to now put a face to the voice! Which brings me to what I want to talk about now.
So, the nasty "c" is gone, now what? Well, If I were to listen to my oncologist I would become a total wreck, anguishing over every little twinge, obsessing over the scar tissue...."is it bigger? is it changing?" ( ok, i admit to doing a little of that anyway! ) Pretty much they are sitting there waiting, like vultures, for this "c" to return. Don't get me wrong, I am very grateful to her for getting rid of it. But thats where she stops. She hasnt given me one bit of advise on how to go about keeping this away. Really!!!! Well, except to tell me that altho I feel like a ball of fire I need to get plenty of rest!  I actually got so upset with her p.a. that I told her I never wanted to see him again. I'm not normally a difficult person, but desperate times call for desperate measures! We're talking about my life (and my emotions!) here. She had already said I could have my port taken out when I had to see Drew one day. (name changed to protect the not so innocent) When Scott casually mentioned something about when I would get my port taken out, Drew proceeded to tell me that I didnt want to have it out, that I would be needing it again. When I told him to not tell me that, he responded by saying he was just being honest. From day one I have approached this whole ordeal by being optimistic. So far that has worked out well for me. To have this man sit there and tell me such a negative thing, going above what the Dr. had told me, infuriated me. If I had kept that port in, thinking I was going to need it again someday, how could I face each day with a positive attitude? Not only would it be a constant reminder of what I had gone through, I believe that if I had kept it in there thinking I would need it, then I really would need it someday. Law of Attraction! A couple years ago I read a really great book called "Throw out 50 Things" by That book made total sense. Are you keeping old medications in your house because someday you might need them? Well, if you have an attitude like that then you just might. I am determined to not need that port again, so why keep it in my body? This same reasoning is why I had a wig burning party! Now, dont get all horrified that I burned perfectly good and expensive wigs. I had gotten a freebie wig at the American Cancer Society. It wasnt made super well altho it was the one I wore most. (another tip that I wish my Dr had told me before I went and spent a ton of money on others) By the time I was finished with it, it was getting a little ratty looking so that is the one I burned. The others I donated to someone just starting this journey. I never want to wear a wig again. What good would it really do to have those wigs sitting on a shelf? Every time I saw them I would have a pang of fear, a jolt of "what if's", a little nausea at the thought of going bald again. I don't need that. I emptied my cabinets of all the shots that I hadn't needed, threw out the Ativan, (altho, this one was very handy while going though treatment!), purged the house of any "sick" related items! And last month I weaned myself off  Effexor.  That was not fun but oh so liberating!! Of course, the Dr's want me to stay on it. I think my Dr is beginning to see that I am not her typical patient. She has become a little softer and does seem to appreciate the positive attitude. And, when I told her I never want to see Drew again, she said no problem. She even admitted to me that he was out of line in saying that and that she would be talking to him.
I go in once a month for blood work to keep a check on the tumor markers. We want them to stay between 0 and 30.  the lowest they have gotten was 15! And thats after she told me I may never have normal markers! They have slowly crept up and are now 21, but still completely normal! And thats where Dr Rubin, my naturalpathic dr comes in!
When I was declared "c" free, I knew the big war was over, but I still needed to keep up the fight for good health. As I mentioned earlier, traditional medicine has no means for keeping it away. Once its treated, their work is done, and all they can offer is to "keep an eye" on things. Thats not enough for me. I didnt go through all this just to do it again someday! Besides, my hair is growing out and I don't want to lose it again! I contacted Dr Rubin, sent him all my records and had a phone appt with him. Talk about the complete opposite of my dr!!!! He was so positive!! He told me that altho he couldn't get rid of "c", once its gone his job is to keep it away!!! It amazes me that he was so willing to admit that he couldnt do what traditional medicine did in getting rid of it, but yet they have no respect for what he can do in keeping it gone. They practically roll their eyes at what he has me do. But thats ok, I believe in him and thats all that matters! He has me on a regimen of suppliments that will keep my cells healthy.
But thats not all I'm doing. From the very beginning I have done energy work. I have some friends that do Healing Touch and I am so grateful for all they have done and continue to do for me. They helped me get through treatment, it was practically a breeze!! Ok, well, thats going overboard a little, but its amazing what they can do. They helped the chemo work, everytime I had my markers checked they had dropped 60%! My dr's were amazed. I had several drs ask me what I was doing, yet when I told them, they weren't interested in learning more.The most one dr said was "Wow, you have a strong mind and a strong body!" Hmmm....I think he called me headstrong!
I also did a lot of visualization. I would focus on little pac men eating up the "c" cells, and I would "clean" my body with "soap and water". I still do this.
Nutrition is also so important. Lots of fruits, veggies and beans. I no longer eat bread and  I rarely eat meat. Processed food is horrible!! I totally cleaned up my diet!  I try to go organic as much as possible, the chemicals used have estrogen in them.  I am also making sure I don't gain weight as fat also contains estrogen. I find it ironic that my dr encourages weight gain.
Exercise is also very important. 
Most of what we have learned about "c", and keeping it away, we have learned on our own through research. It saddens me that the dr's don't at least refer patients to someone to help them with this. It scares me to think of all the patients that just go along with what the dr says, how many just go home and give up?
Now, all that said, I do realize only God knows my future. Everyday I ask Him to carry this burden for me, and to keep me from fretting and worrying.  Prayer is so powerful, and He helps me through the day.
Hot weather is here, the pool is ready, and this is going to be one awesome summer! We are planning our next get away, a trip to Ecuador to see our good friend, Rich, who is there preaching the Gospel. I cannot wait for this experience!
Till next time, friends! Stay strong and stay positive!


  1. WOW, Kendra! You are still amazing the socks off of me! Love you, girl!

  2. Love your attitude! I think it's catching! You're inspiring me to clean up my diet.

  3. You don't know me, but I happened to see your blog on someone else's. I love what you have done with "c". I love your present state of mind of how to keep "c" out of your body. Keep up the good work.

  4. missin' you muchly today Kendy....love you..